Friday, August 02, 2002

Our First Jewish, Black-American President - At a fund-raiser for a Jewish-Canadian charity, Bill Clinton—who avoided serving for the US in Vietnam and "loathed the military"—said he would take up arms and "fight and die" for Israel if Iraq attacks the Jewish state. In front of a wildly-cheering audience in Toronto, the former President said, "If Iraq came across the Jordan River, I would grab a rifle and get in the trench and fight and die."

Just when you try to quit hating the man, he makes a remark like this. I could have spent my entire two months of parental leave writing down all of the lies he's told to us. This one takes the cake, so some comments are in order.

First of all, Bubba is in need of a geography lesson. Iraq is east of Jordan, and the Iraqi Army would have to march across the country of Jordan to get to the Jordan River which borders the West Bank. This scenario is about as likely as hell freezing over, so I wouldn't hold my breath waiting to see Bubba toting an M-16. He was the target of some high-velocity ashtrays and lamps in the White House, so he probably figures he is now qualified for combat.

If the unlikely should happen, and the Iraqi Army does invade Israel, then expect Bubba to use some Clintonian word parsing to weasel out of his promise. Note that he doesn't say he would fight and die for Israel--he could have meant he would fight and die...for Iraq. Or he could have meant the Jordan River--in Utah. It also depends on the meaning of the words "fight and die"--perhaps he said "fight and dye [his hair]". The reporter could have also misheard Bubba saying "take flight and lie", which sounds more plausible for Clinton. The possibilities are endless.

P.T. Barnum allegedly said: "There is a sucker born every minute". The fact that all these morons in Canada spent big bucks ($1000/plate) to listen to this pandering, lying sack of dung proves that Barnum was right.


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