Toys For Twats - According to the Cornell Daily Sun, Cornell University’s health center is considering making vibrators available in on-campus dispensaries. The vibrator craze is being led by Somjen Frazer, a member of the Cornell Women’s Health Initiative. Frazer told the Cornell Daily Sun:

"At this point, you either go online or to the sort of scary and not very woman-affirming sex-shop downtown." Frazer says that one of the key benefits of having on-campus provision of vibrators is that "the dispensary will give out educational materials explaining how to properly clean a vibrator that two women are going to share."

This is what the feminist movement has come to -- promoting the sharing and cleaning of vibrators in lesbian sex. Susan B. Anthony would be so proud. Christopher Dial, a student activist known for his support of student-funded drag shows, proclaimed:

"I think this is a very productive move because the sex industry is associated with back alleys, black boxes, and seedy sales people."

Who knows how many people have died because of back alley masturbation? How long will it be until we hear tales of botched masturbation with unsanitary vegetables? The horror! Vibrators need to be safe, legal, and rare.

Then again, maybe college women will react just like Cornell student Sara Jacobs, who capsulated the current state of the feminist movement when she told the Sun:

"I think one of the most important things is for women to be able to get themselves off."