Friday, January 20, 2006

A Typical Conversation With A Liberal

An old friend e-mailed me recently, and I've been poking fun (good-natured, of course) at his liberal views. Of course, I do this nearly every day out here in the liberal Bay Area. Here's an example of a typical conversation with a liberal, who I will call Joe Liberal (JL). Every component of this exchange has happened to me in real life many times over.

Me: Do you support union labor?

JL: Of course. Isn't it awful that Wal-Mart won't allow unions at its stores?

Me: Where do you shop for groceries?

JL: At the Whole Foods Market. I only have to drive an extra 5 miles past the Super Wal-Mart each way to get there.

Me: What kind of car do you drive?

JL: A Toyota and a Honda [both built by non-union labor]

Me: Do you support mass transit?

JL: We should all use mass transit. Or carpool.

Me: How do you get to work?

JL: I drive an hour to work each way. By myself.

Me: What about the public schools--do you support vouchers?

JL: I support the public schools, and tax money should not go to private schools (and religious ones especially).

Me: Where do your kids go to school?

JL: Private school. They went to Catholic School up to the 8th grade.

Me: Do you believe that society should be color-blind?

JL: Absolutely. The dream of Dr. King lives!

Me: Should elite schools set limits on the number of Asians admitted?

JL: Yes, too many of one race [non-white, of course] means a degraded classroom experience. Diversity is the key.

Me: Where do you live?

JL: We live in Orinda.

Me: What is the percentage of white people living in your neighborhood?

JL: Around 85%.

Me: What do you think of the Bush tax cuts?

JL: A travesty. Think of what we could have done with the money! Schools, health care, day care!

Me: I spent my tax cut on tutoring for my son, and his pre-school . What about you?

JL: I bought an I-Pod, an X-Box 360 and a new multimedia computer.

Me: What do you think of Bush's national energy policy? Drilling for oil in Alaska?

JL: It's blood for oil I tell you!

Me: What are you doing this weekend?

JL: I'm driving down to LA for a concert--should take around 6 hours each way.

Me: Speaking of blood for oil, was going into Iraq worth the cost?

JL: Not a chance. It's a another Vietnam, I tell you.

Me: What are you having for lunch? Which restaurant are you going to?

JL: I already went to the Vietnamese place on Market Street.

Me: You mean the one owned by the man who sailed his boat from Vietnam to Malaysia with his 5 young kids to escape from the Communist gulag?

JL: Yeah, that one.

Me: Are corporate profits too high? Should companies be taxed more?

JL: The blood-sucking corporations are evil. They are ruining this country with their blatant consumerism.

Me: Nice phone you've got there.

JL: It's a new Motorola. Isn't it great that Cingular lets me upgrade my cell phone once a year for free?

Me: Yeah, it's wonderful. What did you do with your old phone?

JL: I just threw it in the garbage.

Me: I see, along with the styrofoam container, plastic fork and bag from the Vietnamese restaurant.

Me: What are you doing with that Coke can?

JL: Throwing it into the garbage.

Me: Can I have it? I started a recycling program at work and at my dragon boat association. I recycle around 20,000 bottles and cans a year.

JL: Did I tell you that I'm an environmentalist, too?

Me: Yeah, and a hypocrite.

JL: Huh? But I voted for Kerry!

Me: I know--I just saw your bumper sticker.


At 3:22 PM, Blogger Rob said...

Muahaha! I love it. Keep it up, James, this is good stuff as always.

Have you found a pistol yet?

At 5:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would recommend a 9mm. Minimal recoil and shot placement is more important than caliber. The SigSauer P226 in stainless steel is a good choice but pricey. See for info. A glock 19 is a nice choice in 9mm. Very light and indestructable. In San Leandro off Davis St. is a great indoor range to practice. I also recommend finding a good NRA instructor (Check their website)

At 5:57 PM, Blogger Da Man said...

I am looking at Smith & Wesson 386PD and the Ruger KGPF-331 revolvers because I am concerned about the guns jamming, and also price and maintenance considerations. I would probably choose a 9mm semi-auto if my wife agreed to use the weapon (minimal recoil).

At 8:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear you...I've fired hundreds of rounds through semi-autos without a problem but it does happen. Either FTE (Failure to Eject) or FTF (Failure to Fire)

One other thing...on a pistol you can put in a laser for pinpoint accuracy. In a home defense situation, stress makes vision go monocular. A laser may make the difference. Either Crimson Trace, on the grip, or Lasermax internal...either one will work well. Best of luck on your search and welcome to the club...

At 1:44 PM, Blogger Da Man said...


Thanks for your advice. I will talk to my wife's cousin about the semis--he's a member of SFPD. I believe they use Glock .40-caliber.

At 4:11 PM, Blogger True San Franciscian said...

Wah! Was that conversation real?

Because it sounds like the conversations I would have with the trust fund liberals I used to know at work...

Just substitute "loser" (I mean bore, I mean gore) for "loser" (scary, I mean kerry) in the conversation and it's almost identical to the stuff I had to listen to at work back in the day.

And I would also recommend a SIG 226 or maybe a 228 (if you're comfortable with a smaller frame). Both boringly accurate and built extremely well.

Trader's Sports in San Leandro is where I got mine (again back in the day..)


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