it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world - today, i handed in my resignation from wells fargo to my new manager, john. he is but one in a long line of psychotic bosses for whom I’ve had the displeasure of working over the past fifteen years. with one exception (that’s you, sheridan) they’ve all been white men who seem to be victims of demonic possession. it’s in the eyes—all of them have eyes that look bugged out, like they’re under the control of the evil one.
at a meeting this morning to discuss personnel issues, I surprised him by asking him why I hadn’t been considered for the new data warehousing manager position. caught off guard, he muttered something about not knowing me well enough to feel confident about placing me in such an important position. translation: I’ve already decided to hire someone else before meeting you, fool.
next, I asked him what were the qualifications for the data warehousing position, and what disqualified me from consideration. I elicited more rambling from john, this time about how I might not have the political suaveness to be successful for this job. translation: you’re not white, you stupid coolie.
finally, I asked him if he had spoken to anyone about my performance, including my ex-psycho boss gary (who hates me because I make him look dumb) and my current database clients. he admitted that he had not spoken to gary about my performance, but he had solicited and received lukewarm feedback from several of my clients. translation: of course I spoke to your manager gary, who bad-mouthed you to no end, and i didn't bother speaking with anyone else.
armed with this information and the support of jenny—we had decided last night that I would resign if they didn’t offer me the new position—I turned in my resignation to john on the spot. he asked me if I was giving him an ultimatum to offer me the data warehousing job. I told him ‘no’. translation: fuck you, fat boy.
beginning in october, I’ll be a stay-at-home dad when jenny goes back to work. I’m in no rush to find a job. I’d like to take time out to reassess my future in corporate america, and to watch my little boy russell grow up.
in the meantime, our hero russell seemed pleased by the turn of events, as you can see here.